brilliant bitterness

So on Craigslist, at least in Seattle, there's apparently this war going on between artists (or creative types) and those that are basically trying to take advantage of their services for little or no reimbursement, claiming that it's good for "portfolio-building". Being a creative type at the beginning of her career, I can actually relate to both sides - I hate feeling as though I'm being taken advantage of, but I also do appreciate opportunities to build my portfolio and get my name out there and so have definitely taken a few gigs for little or no reimbursement. Anyway, it's a source of good (albeit cheap) daily entertainment to read the various backlash listings on Craigs. Generally it comes in the form of expletives and little attention to grammar, but there was one today that broke the mold. It made me smile. Here 'tis:

You know what would be great? If I could lay out your company's enewsletter, maybe even write some jazzy copy about how fantastic your quarter was. That would be a real feather in the cap of my portfolio, as I am looking to expand my portfolio to include some heavy-hitting corporate copy.

Oooh! OR, if you need someone to take some photographs of your company picnic, perhaps the one where you are celebrating your quarterly profits, I could totally do that too! This will really add some "wow" to my lifestyle component of my portfolio, as I hear that all of the big AIGA awards go to softball candids. If you have any Executive portraiture work on the horizon, I'd be all over it. Nothing vies for a portfolio centerpiece quite pictures of Sally in Accounting, the one that always wears white mock turtlenecks and talks to her lean cuisine at lunch.

The pinnacle would have to be though, OMG, if I could design your logo for you. That would rule! I am a little non-traditional in how I like to work though. What would be great is if you could round up say 20 other designers, give us as vague as possible a description and then instruct us to create a couple of concepts and from these concepts you will pick a designer. I LOVE the thrill of the hunt. I think it shows that I am hungry for your business, and that I love Comic Sans. Like, a lot!

The kicker is this. I couldn't possibly accept pay for my time, experience, effort, and use of equipment, all handily provided to help you to achieve your artistic vision. Compensation, pshaw! Actually, what I would really like is some food. Do you have any food? Anything in a can will suffice. Maybe a nice can of Dinty Moore? That'll warm the belly and soothe the soul, and help me sleep at night because who cares if I can't pay rent next month? CANNED STEW WAS PROVIDED FOR ME BY MY EXALTED EMPLOYER. Thanks employer!

If you know of anyone that could use my services, I would be ever grateful.

PS I am serious about the dinty moore

PPS I came here because someone mentioned milk and cookies? I sure am hungry.

Love, Imaginary Designer